The Trials of Getting Older

I have to admit it – I’m having a hard time accepting the fact that I’m getting older. Yes, we all "grow," we all get older – it's part of life, it's the way it is; but I still wish I could look like I did at 35. Maybe it's vanity. I’m 52 years old now and can say that, in general, I’m in good (not great!) health and look pretty good, for my age. I really cannot complain, especially, when I'm aware of the problems some of my friends and co-workers are having (health problems, financial problems, family problems); and aware that so many people in this country, and others, have lost their jobs and their savings (401 K's, stocks, etc.). Even as I’m going through the dreaded “hormonal changes” of middle age (a metamorphosis of sorts) and most nights cannot sleep very restfully; and my metabolism is crawling like a turtle - I’m still very active, and most importantly, I feel very fulfilled at work, have a great family and family life, have good friends, and can honestly say that “life is good”…! I’m a lot wiser now than I was at 35 or at 40. I really feel that I understand what is truly important in life! My priorities are clear; my spirituality is stronger than ever, my life is amazingly rewarding, and I thank God every day for my many blessings… But, let's face it, it still stinks to get OLD. I have to work on accepting the changes and challenges that come with growing older more gracefully and just “go with the flow” like they say; after all, life is a constant challenge, isn't it?

Change is always difficult, no matter what! I never paid too much attention to change when I was younger; but now for some reason – I do! I try my best to have the "C'est la vie..." attitude, but it's definitely hard at times. I guess the fact that I work with teenagers (I teach 15, 16, 17 and 18 year old girls) may contribute to this feeling. In many ways, I wish I could be as beautiful, energetic and active as they are or as my daughters are; but remain as wise as I feel at the present moment. This is my challenge now, and the challenge of all of us, to accept life as it is… to live one day at a time and make the best out of every moment. Life is precious! We have to embrace the beauty in our lives and keep a cheerful and positive attitude while learning to ADAPT.

I have to believe what Barbra Streisand said once: "It gets easier as you get older. You accept yourself for who you are - your flaws and your attributes. It's easier to live in your own skin." I certainly hope so.

The good news is: A research conducted by the University of Colorado, at Colorado Springs, confirms that “older adults exhibit a better balance than younger adults in the way they process emotional information from the environment. Younger adults, 18-25, tend to pay more attention to emotionally negative images than to positive ones." The new finding from their study was that the older adults, ages 55 plus, didn't show this so-called 'negative bias;' instead they tended to show a better balance between paying attention to both negative and positive images.

"We care less about our appearance (not necessarily) and more about our emotional well-being, our character, and our involvements in the world at large and with those we love (I agree with the last three parts)," says clinical psychologist Betsy Stone, Ph.D., of Stamford, Connecticut.

"As we get older, we know more not only about the world but about ourselves. We have better attention spans and an increased ability to focus. In general, most non-neurotic older people (I love this!) are content with what they've done with their lives, are happy, have high self-esteem, and a sense of well-being," says clinical psychologist Forrest Scogin, Ph.D., of the University of Alabama. "We become more adaptable and flexible, and have a greater understanding of our own resilience."

"RESILIENCE" - that's the key word.

"There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of the people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age." ~ Sophia Loren

“Youth is not a time of life - it is a state of mind. Nobody grows old by merely living a number of years; people grow old by deserting their ideals. Years may wrinkle your skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles your soul. You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubts; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear; as young as your hope, as old as your despair. In the central place of your heart there is a recording chamber; so long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer, and courage - so long are you young.”

~ General Douglas MacArthur (based on a poem written by Samuel Ullman of Birmingham, Ala.)

For the entire poem check: http://www.bartleby.com/73/2099.html.
Also check: http://www.psychologytoday.com, and http://www.dreamcoach.com/pdfs/soulful_living.pdf for great articles and advice.